Dirty Blog 9

By Dick Johnson

(The Dirty Blog is a ‘What if” series that supposes, what if a criminal wrote a blog like everyone else. This is number 9 in the series that can be found in the category menu under “The Dirty Blog”)


The guys nose shattered under my fist, and I knew it was a solid punch as soon as my jab connected. It came fast and hit hard. It was quite unexpected.

I learned a long time ago to bring energy into your punch from your body. It’s not just extending your arm. That’s not enough. You have to put power behind it.

“Here man.” I said, handing him a blue hanky from my pocket.

He took it and held it to his nose which was spewing blood.

“This is bullshit man.” He said, in that special way that all guys with busted noses talk.

“You wanted to mouth off.” I said.

Dave is a bar owner, and we were standing in the filthy alley behind his bar at high noon. He was another business owner who needed a loan, and could not get one from the bank. So, he got the loan from somebody else. Somebody who was not very nice.

Dave wasn’t paying. He had been given enough chances, and still wasn’t paying. So, I was hired to give Dave a simple message. No violence. Just a simple threat. So, I did.

But, Dave wanted to get tough and mouth off. So, I broke his face.

That’s the thing. As soon as they start to get tough and mouth off, you gotta bust that nose. Don’t even give them a second. When they start to say ‘Listen here, motherfu…” that nose should be shattered. Just that quick. That’s what happened to Dave. Poor Dave.

But, technically I don’t think you should ever threaten someone at all. I learned this in prison.

Threatening people just gives your enemy a warning. Why warn your enemies?

Threatening people just shows them that you really do not want to get violent. It shows them that you desire a peaceful outcome. Why let your enemy know that?

Threatening people gives them a chance to get you before you can get them. Dumb, Dumb, Dumb.

To me, If something is worth killing over, or beating someone over, then just do it. They are not stupid. They know what they did. They are going to lie, and cry, and get mad. So, what’s the point? If you need to deliver a message, then let the ambulance driver give the message to them at the hospital or to their next of kin. Fuck them.

I guarantee they will not play with you, or do anything wrong to you again. I’m kind and give chances, but there’s a point when it’s time to explode all over someone.

And Dave here is another reason not to threaten people. Some folks will immediately get mad and act tough, and then you have to do something. This can sometimes lead to some very unpleasant situations. Sometimes, it’s worse than Dave’s broken nose.

So, if it’s not worth attacking a person over immediately, then it’s not worth threatening them. Just bide your time, till BOOM! Shattered nose. Like Dave.

I looked at Dave. He was bent over holding my hanky to his face, with blood dripping onto the bricks below him. I went over and put a hand on his shoulder and led him to the step that went to the back door of his bar.

“Here, sit down for a second.” I said, helping him sit down.

I don’t hate Dave. It’s just business. I consider myself a good guy, and try to help people and be kind, until I need to be rough.

“Look Dave. Pay your money or I’ll be back.” I said. “You got it?”

He nodded his head.

Then, I walked away.

He can keep the hanky. Maybe it will remind him of how nice I can be.


(Bio: Dick Johnson is a writer from St. Louis, Mo.)

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