The Rant

By Chris Bunton

Jane threw her bag of groceries and her purse onto the counter. She stopped for a moment and placed her hands over her face. She just stood there in her perfectly modern kitchen. It was large, with plenty of counter space, and just the right colors. It was obviously remodeled recently. Her hands dropped from her face. Shaking her head, she opened her purse and grabbed her phone. Then, walked over to the family room and sat down in her red recliner.

She scanned the electronic tattoo on the back of her hand verifying her identity. Then, she started tapping the screen till she got to her Lifebook page.

Her cat, Peepers jumped up on her lap and started rubbing his face against her chest. She petted him and went back to her tapping. Tap tap tap, mad tapping. She posted,

“Hey guys!  I don’t normally get on here and rant. You all know this.  But, I just cannot keep quiet about it. I was down at the Food-Mart buying my groceries, and I know they have the new laws and the new policies but I just cannot stand it.

So, you know that they keep track of what we buy in order to keep things fair, and I’m ok with this. I’m ok with them controlling everything. I just wish they could give some leeway.

Anyway, I was scanning my items when I got a red light. So, the lady comes over and removes two items from my cart. A bag of pretzels and a turkey.

She says that I can’t buy the pretzels because we should still have pretzels at home. If we are eating according to the servings per bag, and the size of the servings, given by the government I should have a half a bag left, according to the date of my last purchase.  Really?  Who eats 35 pretzel sticks in one serving? Nobody! They eat half a bag. I never thought those serving sizes would be used to control us. I just figured it was a suggestion for health or something. “Trust the science”, I guess.

I’ve got 2 kids. Tyrone is in Football, Basketball, Soccer, Band and He is trying out for Cheerleading. He feels he might identify in that way. He is a very active person and needs the calories. Katie, my daughter has been using cannabis to treat her anxiety, so she eats all the time too!  What am I supposed to do?  My family is practically starving. 35 pretzel sticks!

And according to the Environmental Law we are allowed 1 meat purchase a month. But, we get 2 meat purchases in a month that has a major holiday. It is Thanksgiving, and they say I already made my meat purchase! They won’t let me buy a turkey for Thanksgiving!  I am beside myself with rage! They suggested I buy a Tofurkey!  A flippin Tofurkey! My grandfather would be rolling in his grave!

I’m all for saving the planet. And I know animal agriculture has devastated the world. But, I simply refuse to eat a baked cabbage for Thanksgiving! I will not! And I will not eat that fake stuff!  I don’t even know what it is! I was told it was bugs! I am sooooo done. I just cannot stand it.

Rant over!”


Suzy Que:  I know how you feel girlfriend!  I have a kid that eats us out of house and home. We have been waiting for a week to buy another box of snack cakes. I thought about going to Little Dorthy’s house and stealing some.

Terry Bones: We had to feed Whiskers, our cat, carrots. They said we already purchased cat food and the cat should not be eating as much as we feed it.  It’s skinny! I’m supposed to dip a carrot in chicken broth and pull it across the floor with a string to make it look like a mouse? A little orange chicken mouse? Have you ever tried to feed a carrot to a starving cat?

Mo Lester: I have some meat if you need it.

Lacy Bags: Now that we are cashless, they control everything. They turned off my card for three days because someone reported me for swapping items in the parking lot with my sister.

Ben Dover: It’s the way things are. Better get used to it.

Candi Peters: We went to the theater, after looking everywhere to find one that was still open. I wanted to show the kids what it was like to go to one. They hated it by the way. Anyway, they would not let me buy popcorn. The computer said we had a bag at home. We could only buy one soda, and a box of Milky Daddies. I was so disappointed. I wanted to show my kids what it was like to escape for a few hours, but even here, they intruded into our life.

Seymour Cons: I told you guys about this years ago. It’s all supposed to happen. They control everything and got people to get those electronic tattoos, on the back of their hands. They went cashless and put everything through the cell phone. I guarantee they are watching this conversation. They are probably going to shut someone off. They linked everything to those tattoos, money, total background checks, medical, educational, and access to the internet, our cars, our homes, and you people let it happen. I warned you. They forced all social media to merge, and created Lifebook. Then they controlled all public speech. You should have listened.

Dick Noesitall: (Seymour Cons) How are you even commenting? Are you living in a cave or in your mom’s basement? We need to trust our leaders and the experts. They know far more than you do. Are you a doctor? Are you an expert? If you’ve done nothing wrong, then you have nothing to hide. The serving sizes are designed to keep us from destroying the planet. It’s supposed to help us get along and keep everyone healthy. They were created by scientists who are experts in food and human nutrition. Just obey. We are all in this together. We will get through this.

Jane Doe: I’m just sayin!

Suzy Que: Yeah, just sayin!

Candi Peters: I’m not against saving the planet; I’m just sayin that it sucks.

Seymour Cons: I’m just saying that it’s all a lie. They created the problems, and destroyed the planet, and now we are supposed to trust them to fix it? It’s all a scam! How does eating 35 pretzels save the planet? We eat bugs, while they live like kings!

LIFEBOOK ADMINISTRATOR: This thread has been reported by one of the participants. It has been closed to more comments, and is being evaluated for terms and policy violations. Corrective actions will occur and should be expected, including but not limited to blocking on Lifebook, turning off your phone, fines taken from your accounts, and even blocking your accounts for all transactions. If you feel this action has been taken wrongly you may send a message to the Appeal Center. Please be advised, our Appeal Center is currently closed due to staffing shortages.

Bio: Chris Bunton is a writer, poet and blogger from Southern Illinois. He has written several True Crime and Dystopian pieces for The Yard: Crime Blog.

His dystopian stories on The Yard include: “For Your Protection” “Clear” “The Prisoner” “Power Hour” “Last Train to St. Louis” “The Rant

Published by .

Publishing Editor for The Yard: Crime Blog.

2 thoughts on “The Rant

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: